Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Tired

I am tired this week. I have taken on watching my cousin's 3 month old baby. I forgot how it is having a newborn and Jake is only going to be 3 this summer. I forget though that he was such an EASY baby. He was always content all the time. Riley on the other hand needed a lot of interaction and holding which RJ is like. Don't get me wrong I LOVE HIM. He is THE CUTEST baby and really happy when he is being loved. I just got in the groove of having a child and an older toddler which is soooo easy.

Before this I had always wanted 3 children for some reason I don't know. My husband is done...boy and a girl he is happy. I told him after these past two weeks I think I am done. I feel bad for Jake he is really missing mommy. He isn't the baby when the baby is here. Poor Kiddo. Riley is cool though. She loves being the little helper and doing things for me.

Also I took on watching two children on Mondays and Fridays. I have had them twice and actually I am already done. I have NEVER in my life watched children that were so misbehaved and disrespectful. They actually made me cry on monday. In all my life of babysitting since I was 12 and I am now almost 30 I have NEVER cried while babysitting other people's children. The young girl who by the way is only 6 told my daughter she was going to "kick her ass".....what 6 year old says that!

I do feel bad skipping out after only 2 days of watching them but mentally I cannot handle it. I was repetedly told no and I can totally tell they really need stability but I can't be the person to give it to them. I just can't. I am not the person who normally quits anything but I just cannot do this. I also have to break through and call their mother today and tell her beyond this friday I can't watch her children anymore without saying they are the worst kids ever. Plus 5 kids and trying to work from home with one of them being an infant is just too much and I should have recognized that before I said yes. Although the fact that she pays $50 cash when she drops them off every day was appealing.

Ok enough rambling. I feel like shit because of it but my mental health and my children's health come first and these kids are not a good influence on my children. The past two days my children have been so misbehaved. Not listening, talking back, and saying no. These are NOT my children.

No knitting to show. I am still working on Vestee so I haven't even been able to break into the stash of yarn I bought on Saturday. OH OH OH! Little Knits is having a GREAT sale on Crystal Palace Creme. I bought a bag of the raspberry color and I am going to make a shrug out of it. I absolutely cannot freaking wait. I will definitely post about the progress.

3 comments:

Carrie said...

Wow, how taxing!! Sounds very draining. How cool that you're able to recognize your boundaries and recognize when something isn't good for you or your family? That's awesome.

By the way Little Knits should totally pay you kickbacks for all the good bloggy publicity. That DOES look like the perfect yarn for a shrug! I have at least 5 in my queue, just have to decide which one to do!

affectioknitter said...

Don't worry about it - I'm sure you made the right decision...

pseudobunny said...

Rotten kids are a huge dilemma.
Do you smack them or throw them to the wolves?
Eyuck.
Well...At least your little one isn't saying F*%! everytime he gets frustrated.
Eek! I need to go to mommy-camp. And get my head looked out.
Good luck..And as always find solace in the knitting!!